I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
i believe in u and ur pee
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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