Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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