walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize