ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
