I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I had to cum in my sink.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize