i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
