i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize