Need sex. Gaining weight.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
