I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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