I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Duck Duck Cougar?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
