im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
