Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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