I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
