Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
