you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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