I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
