Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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