yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
