it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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