i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
