bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Congratulations! We have a period
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
