Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
