I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
