no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
