Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
