Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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