I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
