Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
