she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
