Someone shit on the floor
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
