I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize