I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
