She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
there is glitter all over my balls
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
