I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
