I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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