"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
