I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
