I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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