Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
