her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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