Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize