you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
