Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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