apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
