can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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