dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
