I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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