You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
