booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
