Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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