No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
