we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
well you can't waste a boner
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
